About a decade ago, university students could find satisfactory and enviable jobs after their graduation. But now, things are different. Today's university students usually have much pressure in finding fairly good jobs. They always say disappointedly that graduation means joblessness. Why nowadays university students have so much pressure in finding jobs?

In my opinion, this kind of pressure is mainly caused by three reasons. Firstly, the government is enrolling more and more university students year by year. And the growth of the students' number has surpassed that of the need of the society. So, when so many students graduate at a time, the chance of finding jobs becomes tiny. Secondly, today's university students, most of them are the "only-child", who are more mentally frail. Since they are indulged greatly at home and haven't been trained to do things on their own, once it is their turn to go out of the campus and find jobs by themselves and decide what kind of jobs to choose, they feel bewildered and don't know what to do. If their first try fails, they will be frustrated and think that it is really hard to find jobs. Thirdly, some university students are not qualified for good and challenging jobs. After entering the university, they don't study as hard as they did in high schools. They begin to sleep during the class or even be absent for classes. Some are addicted to computer games or Jin Yong's novels, or step into the two-person-world too early. Because these things have taken up so much of their time and energy, their study is neglected. After four years of university life, they haven't gained the knowledge those fairly good jobs or certain positions require.

 

This situation can be changed. The government may decrease the growth of enrolling university students gradually. And the university students can join in some extracurricular activities on campus to train their abilities of doing things independently and try to do some part-time jobs during weekends and vacations to gain more social experience. What's more, students should attach greatest importance to their study, not anything else. They should study harder and try to master the methods of how to put the knowledge they have learned into practice so as to be qualified for the jobs they desire.  

Nowadays, mobile phones are more and more common. When walking in the street, we can find the trail of mobile phones in all walks of life and all ages. Mobile phone is no longer just a thing for making phone calls. Text messaging, cellphonecams and even wi-fi have become new age icons. Furthermore, mobile phone has become the best method to express people's emotion. Do you remember the MTV 《The Deep Breath》 sang by Yu Quan? The boy told his feeling to the girl just by sending a short message“You are my 100 percent girl!”, at last they came together happily. Mobile phones, in this period which people are less and less good at expressing their emotions, suddenly become important.

However, owning a mobile-phone means owning annoyance. You can chat with your friends fluently; you certainly must pay for something. Every day you have to deal with the sufferings of deleting the waste messages, you also have to bear the explanation to people who dial the wrong number. I have ever answered six telephone-calls from six provinces in an afternoon, they want to connect with a decorating corporation in Fujian. It looks like that the corporation put out the wrong number in the ad. But I have to explain politely to them," Sorry, you dial the wrong number. This is a private phone in Hunan." all the time. Look, this is the nuisance taken by mobile phones

Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are really weak and most susceptible?

Did you know that those who spent their time protecting others are the ones who really need someone to protect them?

Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are:

My newlywed husband said the same thing every morning. "You're beautiful today."

　　我的新婚丈夫每天早晨都对我说出同样的话。“你今天真美。”

　　One glance in the mirror revealed that it was far from the truth.

　　只需往镜子里一瞥就能揭示他说的根本不是事实。

　　A skinny girl with mashed hair on one side of her head and no makeup smiled back at me. I could feel my sticky morning breath.

　　镜中的女孩瘦瘦的，乱乱的头发倒向头的一侧，没有任何化妆，她微笑地望着我。我还能感到早晨起来嘴里不大好闻的气味。

　　“Liar,” I shot back with a grin.

　　“说谎，”我咧着嘴笑，回敬了他一句。

　　It was my usual response. My mother's first husband was not a kind man and his verbal and physical abuse forced her and her two children to find a safe place. He showed up on her doorstep one day with roses. She let him in and he beat her with those roses and took advantage of her. Nine months later she gave birth to a 9 lb. 13 oz. baby girl -- me.

　　我总是这样回敬我的丈夫。我母亲的第一个丈夫可不是个善良的男人，他粗暴的语言攻击和身体虐待迫使我母亲带着两个孩子去寻找一个安全的地方。有一天他出现在母亲的门前，手里拿着玫瑰花。她让他进了门，但他却用玫瑰花打她，并强行占了她的便宜。9个月后她生了一个9磅12盎司重的女孩——就是我。

　　The harsh words we heard growing up took root. I had trouble seeing myself as someone of value. I had been married two years when I surprised myself. My husband wrapped his arms around me and told me I was beautiful.

　　长大过程中我们听到的刺耳的话语也扎根在我心底。我难以把自己看作一个有价值的人。结婚两年后我感到惊讶了。我的丈夫双臂拥着我告诉我，我是美丽的。

　　“Thank you,” I said.

　　The same thin girl with the mousy3 brown hair still stared back at me in the mirror, but somehow the words had finally blossomed in my heart.

　　“谢谢你，”我说。

　　同样瘦弱，一头灰棕色头发的女孩在镜中盯着我，但是温柔的话语终于在我的心中开花了。

　　A lot of years have passed. My husband has grey in his hair. I'm no longer skinny. Last week I woke up and my husband's face was inches from mine.

　　许多年过去了。我的丈夫己经长出了灰发。我也不再骨瘦如柴。上周的一天早晨我醒来时，我丈夫的脸离我只有几英寸。

　　“What are you doing?” I asked.

　　“你在干什么？” 我问。

　　I covered my mouth, trying to hide my morning breath. He reached down and kissed my face.

　　我捂住嘴，不想让他闻到嘴里的气味。他俯身过来亲吻我的脸。

　　“What I do every morning,” he said.

　　“做我每天早晨都做的事。”他说。

　　He leaves in the early hours of the morning while I sleep. I miss our morning conversations, but I had not realized that he continued to tell me that he loved me even while I slept. When he left, I rolled over and hugged my pillow. I envisioned4 the picture of me lightly snoring5 with my mouth open and giggled.

　　他清晨就得离开家，我常常还在熟睡。我因我们早上没有谈话而感到遗憾，但是我还未曾意识到他一直在告诉我他爱我，哪怕是在我还睡着时。当他离开后，我在床上翻过身去，抱着我的枕头。我想象着我睡觉时轻轻打鼾，嘴巴还微微张着的样子，不禁咯咯笑了。

　　What a man! My husband understands my past. He's been beside me as I've grown from an unsure young girl to a confident woman, mother, speaker and author.

　　这样一个男人！我丈夫知道我的过去。在我从一个不自信的年轻女子变成一个成熟自信的女人、母亲、演讲者、作家的过程中，他一直在我身边。

　　But I'm not sure that he understands the part he played in that transition6. The words I heard growing up pierced7 my soul, yet his words pierced even deeper.

　　但是我不确信他是否知道在这一变化过程中他起着怎样的作用。伴我长大的话语曾刺入我的灵魂，但他的话语更是深深地感动了我的灵魂。

　　This Anniversary Day I plan to wake early. I want to tell Richard how much I love him. He may look in the mirror and see an extra pound or two, or wish for the day when his hair was dark and curly8, but all I'll see is the man who saw something in me when I couldn't see it myself, and who leaves butterfly kisses, even after twenty-three years of marriage.

　　今年的结婚周年纪念日我打算早点醒来。我要告诉理查德我是多么地爱他。照镜子时，他也许会发现又增加了一两磅体重，或者期望有一天他的头发又是乌黑拳曲的，但是我所看到的是这样一个男人，是他发现我身上具备什么东西，而我未能发现，是他天天给我留下蝶吻，即使是在结婚23年后。

 Sometimes I really doubt whether there is love between my parents. Every day they are very busy trying to earn money in order to pay the high tuition for my brother and me. They don’t act in the romantic ways that I read in books or I see on TV. In their opinion, “I love you” is too luxurious for them to say. Sending flowers to each other on Valentine’s Day is even more out of the question. Finally my father has a bad temper. When he’s very tired from the hard work, it is easy for him to lose his temper

Life comes from life. The universe is a living thing made by love and of love. The earth too as part of the universe is a living thing made of love. We experience her love in the abundance of support she provides us such as the air we breathe, the water we drink and the food we eat. And we recognize the divinity of her unconditional love and so call her mother earth or some of us refer to her as goddess. We must recognize as well that we too spring from universal love and as such carry a spark of the divine within each and everyone of us.
  Ladies and gentleman,
  We are here today to witness and celebrate a passage of life, a passage of love, which Ariele and Martin have chosen to enter upon. They have decided to become more than just lovers, but a family. Moving from onstage of life to another. You have been invited to be physical representatives of the divine and give your support to their union, so as to help make their new path a joyous one, one that is walked upon with wonder and ease. For truly, whether we recognize it or not, we are all family all of the time. Therefore we deeply thank you for your presence as we thank the goddess herself for being with us always.
  This celebration is not and end, but a beginning, the start of a new process. From my experience it is not the marriage ceremony nor the marriage that is important, but the love and friendship that you share. Those will ensure a longer lasting relationship than any ritual.
  With all my heart I bless you and trust that all will go well in your new life together. My love goes with you, as I am sure everyone else’s love in this place goes with you as sell. Goddess be with you. Blessed be.

Long ago,there was a huge apple tree. a little boy love to come and play around it everyday.he climbed to the tree top,ate the apples,took a nap under the shadow…he loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him.time went by…the little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree everyday.

 

one day,the boy came back to the tree and he looked.
"come and play with me ,"the tree asked the boy .
"i am no longer a kid, i don't play around trees anymore."the boy replied,
"i want toys.i need money to buy them."
"sorry,but i don't have money…but you can pick all my apples and sell them.
so,you will have money."the boy was so excited .he grabbed all the apples
on the tree and left happily.the boy never came back after he picked the
apples.the tree was sad.

one day,the boy returned and the tree was so excited.
"come and play with me ,"the tree said.
"i don't have time to play.i have to work for my family.we need a house for
shelter.can you help me?"
"sorry,but i don't have a house .but you can chop off my branches to build
your house."so the boy cut all the branches of the tree and left happily.
the tree was glad to see him happy but the boy never came back since then.
the tree was again lonely and sad.

one hot summer day,the boy returned and the tree was delighted.
"come and play with me !"the tree said.
"i am sad and getting old.iwant to go sailing to relax myself.can you give
a boat?"
"use my truck to build your boat.you can sail faraway and be happy."
so the boy cut the tree truck to make a boat .he went sailing and never
showed up for a long time.

finally, the boy returned after he left for so many years.
"sorry,my boy.but i don't have anything for you anymore.no more apples for
for you…“the tree said.
"i don't have teeth to bite."the boy replied.
"no more truck foe you to climb on."
"i am too old for that now."the boy said.
"i really can give you anything…the only thing left is my dying roots."the
tree said with tears.
"i don't need much now,just a place to rest.i am tired after all these year"
the boy replied.
"good!old tree roots is the best place to lean on and rest. come,come sit
down with me and rest."the boy sat down and the tree was glad and smiled
with tears……

Suppose you set your mind to work on the problem of how you would use your own eyes if you had three more days to see. If with the oncoming darkness of the third night you knew that the sun would never rise for you again, how would you spend those three precious intervening days? What would you most want to let your gaze rest upon?
I, naturally, should want most to see the things which have become dear to me through my years of darkness. You, too, would want to let your eyes rest long on the things that have become dear to you so that you could take the memory of them with you in the night that loomed before you.
I should want to see the people whose kindness and gentleness and companionship have made my life worth living. First I should like to gaze long upon the face of my teacher, Mrs. Anne Sullivan Macy, who came to me when I was a child and opened the outer world to me. I should want not merely the outline of her face, so that I could cherish it in my memory, but to study that face and find in it the living evidence of the sympathetic tenderness and patience with which she accomplished the difficult task of my education. I should like to see in her eyes that strength of character which has enabled her to stand firm in the face of difficulties, and that compassion for all humanity which she has revealed to me so often.
Oh, the things that I should see if I had the power of sight for just three days!

PLEASE, God, let him telephone me now. Dear God, let him call me now. I won't ask anything else of You, truly I won't. It isn't very much to ask. It would be so little to You, God, such a little, little thing. Only let him telephone now. Please, God. Please, please, please.

 

If I didn't think about it, maybe the telephone might ring. Sometimes it does that. If I could think of something else. If I could think of something else. Maybe if I counted five hundred by fives, it might ring by that time. I'll count slowly. I won't cheat. And if it rings when I get to three hundred, I won't stop; I won't answer it until I get to five hundred. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five, forty, forty-five, fifty.... Oh, please ring. Please.

This is the last time I'll look at the clock. I will not look at it again. It's ten minutes past seven. He said he would telephone at five o'clock. "I'll call you at five, darling." I think that's where he said "darling." I'm almost sure he said it there. I know he called me "darling" twice, and the other time was when he said good-bye. "Good-bye, darling." He was busy, and he can't say much in the office, but he called me "darling" twice. He couldn't have minded my calling him up. I know you shouldn't keep telephoning them ?I know they don't like that. When you do that they know you are thinking about them and wanting them, and that makes them hate you. But I hadn't talked to him in three days ?not in three days. And all I did was ask him how he was; it was just the way anybody might have called him up. He couldn't have minded that. He couldn't have thought I was bothering him. "No, of course you're not," he said. And he said he'd telephone me.

He didn't have to say that. I didn't ask him to, truly I didn't. I'm sure I didn't. I don't think he would say he'd telephone me, and then just never do it. Please don't let him do that, God. Please don't.

"I'll call you at five, darling." "Good-bye, darling." He was busy, and he was in a hurry, and there were people around him, but he called me "darling" twice. That's mine, that's mine. I have that, even if I never see him again. Oh, but that's so little. That isn't enough. Nothing's enough, if I never see him again. Please let me see him again, God. Please, I want him so much. I want him so much. I'll be good, God. I will try to be better, I will, If you will let me see him again. If You will let him telephone me. Oh, let him telephone me now.

Ah, don't let my prayer seem too little to You, God. You sit up there, so white and old, with all the angels about You and the stars slipping by. And I come to You with a prayer about a telephone call. Ah, don't laugh, God. You see, You don't know how it feels. You're so safe, there on Your throne, with the blue swirling under You.Nothing can touch You; no one can twist Your heart in his hands. This is suffering, God, this is bad, bad suffering. Won't You help me? For Your Son's sake, help me. You said You would do whatever was asked of You in His name. Oh, God, in the name of Thine6 only beloved Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord, let him telephone me now.

I must stop this. I mustn't be this way. Look. Suppose a young man says he'll call a girl up, and then something happens, and he doesn't. That isn't so terrible, is it? Why, it's going on all over the world, right this minute. Oh, what do I care what's going on all over the world? Why can't that telephone ring? Why can't it, why can't it? Couldn't you ring? Ah, please, couldn't you? You damned, ugly, shiny thing. It would hurt you to ring, wouldn't it? Oh, that would hurt you. Damn you, I'll pull your filthy roots out of the wall, I'll smash your smug black face in little bits.7 Damn you to hell.

No, no, no. I must stop. I must think about something else. This is what I'll do. I'll put the clock in the other room. Then I can't look at it. If I do have to look at it, then I'll have to walk into the bedroom, and that will be something to do. Maybe, before I look at it again, he will call me. I'll be so sweet to him, if he calls me. If he says he can't see me tonight, I'll say, "Why, that's all right, dear. Why, of course it's all right." I'll be the way I was when I first met him. Then maybe he'll like me again. I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.

I think he must still like me a little. He couldn't have called me "darling" twice today, if he didn't still like me a little. It isn't all gone, if he still likes me a little; even if it's only a little, little bit. You see, God, if You would just let him telephone me, I wouldn't have to ask You anything more. I would be sweet to him, I would be gay, I would be just the way I used to be, and then he would love me again. And then I would never have to ask You for anything more. Don't You see, God? So won't You please let him telephone me? Won't You please, please, please?

Are You punishing me, God, because I've been bad? Are You angry with me because I did that? Oh, but, God, there are so many bad people ?You could not be hard only to me. And it wasn't very bad; it couldn't have been bad. We didn't hurt anybody, God. Things are only bad when they hurt people. We didn't hurt one single soul; You know that. You know it wasn't bad, don't You, God?So won't You let him telephone me now?

If he doesn't telephone me, I'll know God is angry with me. I'll count five hundred by fives, and if he hasn't called me then, I will know God isn't going to help me, ever again. That will be the sign. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five, forty, forty-five, fifty, fifty-five... It was bad. I knew it was bad. All right, God, send me to hell. You think You're frightening me with Your hell, don't You? You think. Your hell is worse than mine.

I mustn't. I mustn't do this. Suppose he's a little late calling me up ?that's nothing to get hysterical about.Maybe he isn't going to call ?maybe he's coming straight up here without telephoning. He'll be cross10 if he sees I have been crying. They don't like you to cry. He doesn't cry. I wish to God I could make him cry. I wish I could make him cry and tread the floor and feel his heart heavy and big and festering in him. I wish I could hurt him like hell.

He doesn't wish that about me. I don't think he even knows how he makes me feel. I wish he could know, without my telling him. They don't like you to tell them they've made you cry. They don't like you to tell them you're unhappy because of them. If you do, they think you're possessive and exacting. And then they hate you. They hate you whenever you say anything you really think. You always have to keep playing little games. Oh, I thought we didn't have to; I thought this was so big I could say whatever I meant. I guess you can't, ever. I guess there isn't ever anything big enough for that. Oh, if he would just telephone, I wouldn't tell him I had been sad about him. They hate sad people. I would be so sweet and so gay, he couldn't help but like me. If he would only telephone. If he would only telephone.

Maybe that's what he is doing. Maybe he is coming on here without calling me up. Maybe he's on his way now. Something might have happened to him. No, nothing could ever happen to him. I can't picture anything happening to him. I never picture him run over. I never see him lying still and long and dead. I wish he were dead. That's a terrible wish. That's a lovely wish. If he were dead, he would be mine. If he were dead, I would never think of now and the last few weeks. I would remember only the lovely times. It would be all beautiful. I wish he were dead. I wish he were dead, dead, dead.

This is silly. It's silly to go wishing people were dead just because they don't call you up the very minute they said they would. Maybe the clock's fast; I don't know whether it's right. Maybe he's hardly late at all. Anything could have made him a little late. Maybe he had to stay at his office. Maybe he went home, to call me up from there, and somebody came in. He doesn't like to telephone me in front of people. Maybe he's worried, just a little, little bit, about keeping me waiting. He might even hope that I would call him up. I could do that. I could telephone him.

I mustn't. I mustn't, I mustn't. Oh, God, please don't let me telephone him. Please keep me from doing that. I know, God, just as well as You do, that if he were worried about me, he'd telephone no matter where he was or how many people there were around him. Please make me know that, God. I don't ask YOU to make it easy for me ?You can't do that, for all that You could make a world. Only let me know it, God. Don't let me go on hoping. Don't let me say comforting things to myself. Please don't let me hope, dear God. Please don't.

I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God; I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you. I should think it would be so sweet to be sure.

It would be so easy to telephone him. Then I'd know. Maybe it wouldn't be a foolish thing to do. Maybe he wouldn't mind. Maybe he'd like it. Maybe he has been trying to get me. Sometimes people try and try to get you on the telephone, and they say the number doesn't answer. I'm not just saying that to help myself; that really happens. You know that really happens, God. Oh, God, keep me away from that telephone. Keep me away. Let me still have just a little bit of pride. I think I'm going to need it, God. I think it will be all I'll have.

Oh, what does pride matter, when I can't stand it if I don't talk to him? Pride like that is such a silly, shabby little thing. The real pride, the big pride, is in having no pride. I'm not saying that just because I want to call him. I am not. That's true, I know that's true. I will be big. I will be beyond little prides.

Please, God, keep me from, telephoning him. Please, God.

I don't see what pride has to do with it. This is such a little thing, for me to be bringing in pride, for me to be making such a fuss about. I may have misunderstood him. Maybe he said for me to call him up, at five. "Call me at five, darling." He could have said that, perfectly well. It's so possible that I didn't hear him right. "Call me at five, darling." I'm almost sure that's what he said. God, don't let me talk this way to myself. Make me know, please make me know.

I'll think about something else. I'll just sit quietly. If I could sit still. If I could sit still. Maybe I could read. Oh, all the books are about people who love each other, truly and sweetly. What do they want to write about that for? Don't they know it isn't true? Don't they know it's a lie, it's a God damned lie? What do they have to tell about that for, when they know how it hurts? Damn them, damn them, damn them.

I won't. I'll be quiet. This is nothing to get excited about. Look. Suppose he were someone I didn't know very well. Suppose he were another girl. Then I'd just telephone and say, "Well, for goodness' sake, what happened to you?" That's what I'd do, and I'd never even think about it. Why can't I be casual and natural, just because I love him? I can be. Honestly, I can be. I'll call him up, and be so easy and pleasant. You see if I won't, God. Oh, don't let me call him. Don't, don't, don't.

God, aren't You really going to let him call me? Are You sure, God? Couldn't You please relent? Couldn't You? I don't even ask You to let him telephone me this minute, God; only let him do it in a little while. I'll count five hundred by fives. I'll do it so slowly and so fairly. If he hasn't telephoned then, I'll call him. I will. Oh, please, dear God, dear kind God, my blessed Father in Heaven, let him call before then. Please, God. Please.

Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five....

It takes only a minute to get crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone. But it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

 

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile. Because it only takes a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Maybe we meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person. We will know how to be grateful for that gift.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love will not provide assurance that they'll love you back. Don’t expect love in return; Just wait for it to grow in their hearts.  But if it doesn't, be content. It grew in yours.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything. They just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Happiness are for those who cry, those who have searched, and those who have tried because only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

"In what sense has Maria Shriver ever lived in the real world?" my husband, Bill, asked me over breakfast. He held up a full-page magazine ad showing that Shriver has a book out called Ten Things I Wish I'd Known Before I Went Out Into the Real World.

 

"What?" I mumbled. I was nursing a deep scratch incurred while trying to toilet-train the cat. Bill shook the paper at me. "This, from the daughter of Eunice Kennedy Shriver and the wife of Arnold Schwarzenegger? Where's the real world in that?"

I have not peeked into that book (too busy with the Band-Aids), but I did ask dozens of people from the actual real world what they wish they had known. Here's a sampling:
1. Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter. --DAN HENRY

2. If only someone had told me the body I loathed in my 20s would be the body I wistfully longed for in my 30s! --CYNTHIA BOCOBOC

3. Grace isn't a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It's a way to live. --JACKIE WINDSPEAR

4. No one who cannot train a dog to heel, sit and stay for at least ten minutes on command should be allowed to raise children. --ROBIN CLEMENTS

5. When buying a car, skip zippy and snazzy, and go directly to practical and running. --MARILYN PENLAND

6. A woman needs only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the tape. --PHYLLIS WINTER

7. The five most essential words for a healthy relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right." --TERRY DUKE

8. Pull over for the idiots and let them pass even when you're going pretty fast already. --MIKE SOCHACKI

9. Show up, pay attention, speak from the heart, and don't be attached to the outcome. --LYNNE BORSCHE

10. Liver really is good for you. --DR. MARK SLOAN

11. Never marry a man who hates his mother. --BETH CLEMENTS

12. When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste. --LAIKO BAHRS

13. I've learned to pick my battles. I ask myself, "Will this matter a year from now? A month? A week? A day?" --VALORIE JACKSON

14. The shortest line is always the longest. --SUSAN G. SEITZ

15. Good sex should involve laughter. Because it's, you know, funny. --STEPHANIE LUCAS

16. When you realize you've made a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm. --DAN HEIST

17. Make sure you leave something in this world besides clothes, a nice house and a stock portfolio. --SABRINA STEELE

18. You learn something new every day if you pay attention. --RAY LEBLOND

19. Don't supply the rocks that are to be thrown at you. --GENE DALY

20. Never leave a place where you're having a good time to go somewhere else where you only think you'll have a better time. --RICH LEBLOND

21. If he says you're too good for him, believe it. --DEBBIE FARSON

22. The best advice my mother ever gave me: "Go! You might meet somebody!" --SUSAN PIPER PRYOR

23. You will never, ever win an argument with a meter maid. --DEAN BACKUS

24. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance. --ANDREA BOYDSTON

25. Never pass up an opportunity to use the rest room. --SALLY SANGER

26. Sing out loud in the car even, or especially, if it embarrasses your children. --MARILYN PENLAND

27. And my contribution: When the instructions on the flimsy cat toilet-training device say, "The cat must weigh no more than 12 pounds," weigh the cat. --ADAIR LARA

Once, during the course of a conversation with a colleague who was a woman of color, I happened to refer to her as an African American. Her response left me confused. "Don't call me that," she said. "I've never been to Africa; I don't know the first thing about Africa. You can call me black or you can call me an American, but don't call me African American." She went on to ask me why, if a white person from South Africa became a US citizen, no one would ever refer to that person as African American. Of course, I didn't have a response.

 

And not too long ago, I met a man who bemoaned the fact that everyone automatically refers to him as African American, despite the fact that he has only recently emigrated from Ghana. "I'm African, but I'm certainly not an American," he said.

"For census purposes, we're asked to fit ourselves into one of five categories," says Cornelia Gamlem, president of the GEMS Group, a human resources consulting firm based in Herndon, Virginia. These racial/ethnic categories are as follows: white, black, Asian and Pacific Islander, Hispanic, and American Indian, Eskimo or Aleut. "While people of the same race may share similarities, there are many cultural differences that need to be recognized."

For instance, a person who checks "black" on the census form may be American-born, or may hail from elsewhere, such as the Caribbean or an African nation. Likewise, a Hispanic person may be from places as disparate as New York City, Mexico, Cuba or Brazil. "The problem is that there may be a tendency to make assumptions about people, just by looking at their obvious characteristics," says Gamlem. "I see your skin is black, so I lump you into the African American category and figure that you're just like everybody else who grew up in this country. But if you were raised in the Caribbean or an African nation, I've made assumptions that are incorrect. This opens the door to discriminatory treatment and unfair practices."

While it might simplify life at the office if we could all just make assumptions about people based on their obvious physical characteristics, that kind of thinking just doesn't fit the bill anymore (not that it ever really did in the first place). "Diversity goes well beyond what one can visually see," Gamlem says. "It can be hidden." Gamlem remembers the time she was on a business trip and dining alone in a restaurant. After her meal, the waiter brought her a check and told her to have a nice Mother's Day. "He categorized me in a certain way. Because of my gender and age group, he assumed I was a mother."

Making assumptions based on a person's race can be an even dicier proposition. The fact is that, census categories notwithstanding, the United States is a vastly diverse population, and growing more so all the time. And in the end, a person's cultural identity is at least as important as his ethnic identity. For instance, the guy from Jamaica with an office next door to an African American may actually have more in common culturally with the light-skinned Cuban person down the hall.

So what's a person supposed to do? The answer, says Gamlem, is both incredibly simple and enormously difficult: "Appreciate people for who they are as individuals, not for what class of people they are assumed to be associated with." That means checking your biases and automatic stereotypes -- we've all got them -- at the door and taking some time to understand your coworkers' cultural backgrounds and values. Gamlem is the first to admit that this fundamental and necessary change in the way we view our fellow human beings won't happen overnight. "It's a process," she says. "It needs to be nurtured over time."